Anyone can say anything, truth is life is unfair, we just want to squeeze some false hope out of it. Even mustering words to be noticed doesn’t matter. It’s like I don’t know why I search for answers, when I know my heart wants nothing to do with life. Today I tied a noose and tried hanging myself. Reading comments after comment I see people are Great at motivating the lost. It has helped cope and pull me through the years but deep down inside something is unsettled, something is wiggling in the pit of my stomach and it makes me feel sick everyday. Before anyone thinks this person needs to see someone, I have been in therapy for years. The lessons on peoples behaviors and the way money has taken over every aspect of a persons life and defines how people act towards you.ĭont make my mistake to stop making money intentionally to see whose there for you, You may end up without anything and without anyone like I did.Īnyway death, Yeah Ive been looking for death for years. Friends, family, events etc but leave the lessons I learnt in place. Thats a easy one for me, Erase everything. If I could erase my entire memory, what memories would I want to keep if I had a choice? Tired of memories and small triggers to past thoughts, Thats what gets me down and thinking how much better it would be if I could sleep and never wake up, Never open my eyes again and feel anything. This has been with me from such a young age and I am just tired of life in general. I have tried to kill myself before and want to die but want to die through the use of nembutal or any other "peaceful" means. The fight that was once there has faded, It abruptly disappeared a few years ago, surfaced recently and is fading once more. As the years have rolled on by, Life has got tougher.
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